All the Cotswolds, even this folly, was decked out yesterday for the royal wedding. Well, that’s not totally true. Despite my earlier assertion that the ladies of the Cotswolds would be wearing their finest hats for the viewing at the wine bar, I was the only one (unless you count L.’s floppy straw number and a couple of men in baseball caps). In fact attendance was rather sparse when husband and I first arrived at 9:30AM. In a classic Toff display of the middle-finger-to-the-world attitude, A., one of the scariest dames of the neighboring villages, hadn’t even bothered to put in her dentures. I guess she didn’t really need them for the coffee with a snifter side car of something or other she was drinking. She did, however, seem amused by my small-pink-bird-just-exploded-on-my-head hat, quipping with a front-toothless smile that there was still time to make it to the Abbey. Vera, the eight-year old pug who had the bar stool next to me, also seemed to like my hat. Or at least my croissant.
By the time I was on to my first Bellini of the morning the place had started to fill up. This provided me with an audience for my running red carpet commentary on the guests, something the BBC broadcast was too dignified to provide. It went something like this:
- Pippa the sister should have never been allowed to wear white. If it wasn’t for her spray tan she may have stolen the show.
- Eugenie and Beatrice did steal the show, but not in a good way. In an ugly stepsisters in a Cinderella panto kind of way.
- The Queen looked radiant in yellow. Not a hint of Big Bird despite my initial fears when I first glimpsed her in her car on the way to the Abbey.
- Advice to Harry: stand up straight.
- Advice to Wills: shave it off.
- Advice to SamCam (PM’s wife): next time wear a hat.
- I shouldn’t have liked Miriam González Durántez’s (Deputy PM’s wife) Cruella de Vil get up but I did. It takes guts to wear a floral turban to the Abbey. Very Sunset Boulevard.
- Best hat goes to Zara Phillips for her silvery-black tilted UFO.
Congratulations, William and Catherine!