Husband made me edit my Saturday blog, “A Pub with a View,” today. He said my attempt to conjure up a unicorn with the phrase “grew a horn” sounded like a horse getting an erection and suggested “sprouted an ivory spiral.” At which point I foolishly pondered aloud whether unicorns have a spiral or just a plain old horn. Mistake.
Thus began a self-righteous speech from husband in which he declared himself a unicorn expert on the basis that Legend, “the movie that broke Tom Cruise,” I quote, is one of his favorite films and how dare I question his authority on the subject. I then told him he sounded like a 13-year old girl. He agreed and went on to explain he would of course never profess expertise on such subjects if he was, for example, conversing with manly men at a Star Trek convention.